


Brave In Our Beautiful Mistakes

by Eternal Scribe (Shadowcat)



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M, Trigger Warning - Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-04-16 14:17:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14166708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowcat/pseuds/Eternal%20Scribe
Summary: Three months ago, the wrong words in an emotionally charged argument caused the most important person in Fili's life to run out into the night and disappear.When Kili finally reaches out, it's nothing like Fili expected.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was started for the GatheringFiki WinterFRE 2018 but wasn't even close to having the first part finished in time.
> 
> The prompt was for Prompt 143 - “Stay put. I’m coming to get you.”

The first time the phone started ringing, he did his best to ignore it. He’d had a very long week and by Friday night all he wanted to do was get blinding drunk and pass out for the weekend. For some reason, though, he had ended up bypassing his counter full of alcohol and went straight to his bedroom.

He carefully avoided looking at the door across from his -- knowing the bedroom would be cold and dark like it had been for the last three months. Like it had been since his world had shattered and his brother had run out -- disappearing without a word.

So when the phone woke him up the first time, he grumbled and buried his head under his pillows. The phone rang a total of ten times before it went silent. He turned away from it, feeling an overwhelming sense of loss. There were tears burning his eyes when he finally fell asleep again.

The second time the phone woke him up, his digital clock on the dresser told him that two hours had passed. He rolled over to face his nightstand, watching the blue LED lights from the phone casting shadowy images on his walls as silent tears slid down his face. He had no desire to answer the phone because he knew the only voice he wanted to hear would not be on the other end. It never was and he just didn’t have the strength or energy to deal with that level of disappointment tonight -- especially without alcohol.

There were only eight rings this time before his room was plunged into a weighted silence again. He sighed and closed his eyes. He shouldn’t have ignored the alcohol that usually allowed him to sleep through the night undisturbed. Opening his eyes, he sat up and swung his legs off the bed and to the floor. It would take only a few minutes for him to walk down the hall and grab a bottle of something and bring it back to his bedroom.

Perhaps then he could actually get some sleep.

He was halfway to his bedroom door when his cell phone started ringing again. He hesitated as the phone rang two more times, then sighed and walked back to it. It could be someone in his family or a friend needing him.

It could be someone with news --

“Hello?” There was silence on the other end of the line. “Hello,” he said again. Again no one spoke and he was moving the phone from his ear to hang it up when he heard the unmistakable sound of a sob. He tensed, his hand tightening on the phone as he brought it back up to his ear. Hope was a bitchy, double-edged blade that he was ready to impale himself on again. He took a breath and then leaped off of that cliff. 

“Kee?” He swallowed. “Come on, Kee, I know you’re there. Please talk to me.”

Another sob came over the line and now he was really worried. Not only had his missing brother finally reached out to him, but it sounded like something bad had happened to him.

“Kili.”

“I’m sorry, Fili. I’m sorry.” Now there was no doubt that it was his brother that was sobbing into the phone. “I know you said not to -- but I didn’t know who else to call.”

There was that old heaviness of guilt crashing down on him again.

“No, love, no,” he tried to soothe him. “No, you should have called me and I’m glad that you did. Talk to me, tell me what’s going on.”

“I’m in trouble, Fili. I’m scared and I don’t know what to do and he’s going to kill me if he finds me.”

Fili had already shoved his feet into shoes as he moved to the front door and grabbed his keys. He was outside at his car almost immediately and slid behind the wheel. “Where are you, Kili?” When Kili named a location two towns over from his, Fili nodded, pulling the car out of the driveway. “There’s a Denny’s near where you are, Kee. I want you to go in there and go straight to the counter and take a seat there. Take a seat away from the door but where the cooks and hostess can see you at all times.”

“Fili?”

“Stay put. I’m coming to get you.”

 

It took him more time than he wanted it to, but far less time than it should have taken for him to get to the town and then the Denny’s he’d told his brother to go into and wait for him. He didn’t know what had happened, yet, but he damn well wanted to make sure his brother was safe so he could find out.

And he would find out. Anyone who scared or harmed Kili was not someone that was going to have a pleasant experience.

He pulled into the parking lot and looked around, dread pulling in his stomach when he didn’t see Kili’s motorcycle anywhere. Praying that his brother hadn’t vanished again, Fili hurried inside the diner. He must have looked desperate or worried because the hostess smiled at him and gestured to the end of their counter with her head.

At the end of the counter sat a huddled figure in a black leather jacket with his head hung down. Smiling his thanks to the hostess he walked down the counter and took a seat next to his brother. He frowned as Kili flinched, but the slight turn of his head and his relaxing slightly clued Fili in that it hadn’t been him Kili was flinching away from. Which begged the question of what the hell had happened.

“Kee?” Fili whispered. “Look at me.”

Kili’s shoulders slumped and then he turned his head slowly to look at Fili, and Fili suddenly felt white-hot rage run through him.

His brother had a very obvious black eye and what looked to be other scrapes and scratches on his face and on what Fili could see of his neck. His lip looked swollen and there was a dullness in his eyes that Fili did not like at all.

“You came,” his brother whispered and there was such pain and relief in his voice that Fili wanted to cry.

“Of course I did,” he murmured. “I told you I would.” He reached out to touch Kili’s arm. “Where did you park your bike?”

“It’s not here,” his brother mumbled, looking down again. “I walked here.”

“What? Kee, what’s going on?”

“Can we...not here, please Fili? Please. It’s not safe.”

What in the hell had happened that Kili thinking he wasn’t safe in a public place with witnesses everywhere? He caught Kili looking at him and he realized it wasn’t only fear he saw in his brother’s eyes, but also shame.

“Yeah, ok. We can go home.”

The flash of hope in his brother’s eyes was gone so quick he almost would have said he’d imagined it. He paid for the soda Kili was drinking and then led him out of the diner and into the car.

Kili didn’t speak the entire ride back to their house and as the silence lengthened so did Fili’s worry. When they got inside, Fili took another look at Kili’s pale face and tense body language and made sure to lock the doors. Then he showed Kili that all of the windows were locked. Finally, finally, he saw Kili’s shoulders start to lose a little of their tension.

“I didn’t… I didn’t expect you to tell me you would come get me,” Kili murmured, looking down at the floor. “And then I didn’t think you really would come get me yourself.”

“If you didn’t think I would help, then why did you take the chance and call?”

“Because like I said… I didn’t know who else to call. You know how bad I am with phone numbers but even when everything was gone to hell and I was in pain and scared for my life, I remembered yours.”

That caused a question that had been tickling at Fili’s mind since Kili had called him earlier. “You’ve been calling all night, haven’t you?” At his brother’s slight nod, Fili asked the next question. “Kili, where’s your phone?”

“I lost it.”

The answer was mumbled, so Fili knew that his brother was lying. It was always what gave him away when he wasn’t telling the truth about something.

“Take off your coat and sit down. I’ll fix us something to eat and you can tell me what the hell happened and who I’m going to go murder.”

“You can’t murder anyone, not over someone who is too young to know what is real and what is only infatuation and experimentation,” Kili said bitterly, not looking at Fili. “Especially when all I did was prove you right.”

Fili had to swallow twice before he could speak again. Even then, he knew that his voice sounded hoarse. “Take off your coat and sit down, Kili. We need to talk and you need to tell me what happened and where you’ve been for the last three months.”

In the kitchen he made a couple of sandwiches and opened up a few bags of chips, listening to Kili moving around in the living room. He moved the food into the living room and returned to the kitchen for drinks. Deciding that it didn’t fucking matter what they drank if Kili’s voice was any indication to how bad the story was going to be, he bypassed the tea and juice and grabbed a couple of sodas that he juggled with a bottle of rum. He put them down on the coffee table with the food and then finally looked at his brother.

He felt like someone had just punched him, knocking the wind out of him. Kili did not look like he had been taking care of himself at all. He was always thin and lean, but now he just looked gaunt. There were dark circles under his eyes that he hadn’t been able to see at the diner and his pallor really upset Fili.

However, what really bothered him was the mottled bruising he saw on Kili’s neck, throat and shoulders that showed through the neckline of his very stretched out t-shirt.

“Kili…”

“I know… I know it looks bad. But it’s not…”

“Stop, Kee,” Fili commanded quietly. “It is bad.”

His brother stopped talking and his shoulders dropped again. Swallowing back so many things, Fili moved closer to Kili, running his fingers gently over the bruising on his neck. His brother flinched and Fili had to bite back a curse. The fact that someone had laid hands on Kili and cause so much pain and damage had him angrier than he had ever been in his entire life.

“Talk to me, Kili,” he finally managed to say in a calm voice. “Tell me what happened.”


	2. Chapter 2

Kili sighed, not looking at his brother as he tried to gather his thoughts. How could he tell Fili everything that happened or that he had been doing for the past three months since their fight? However, with those gentle fingers stroking his skin and that strong voice telling him to talk to him, he knew that he just had no resistance to the innate need to please Fili. He closed his eyes again, as his brother continued to gently stroke his cheek.

"After the night where everything fell apart, I was pretty much a wreck. I had just thrown away everything that mattered and I was just... I don't know. I guess I didn't care what happened after that. You hated me, I had no home and no one I could confide in..."

"I didn't hate you, Kili!"

"Didn't you? It certainly seemed like you did. You'd never punched me before and you had never, ever sounded so angry and disgusted with me as you did."

Fili flinched, hating that it had all happened the way it did that night. "I... I don't know why I hit you, Kili, and I will never, never not be sorry that I did that. I..."

Kili stepped away from him. "Fili, don't. Don't give me apologies that you don't mean just because I'm broken and you're afraid one more angry word from you will damage me more. "

"That's not why I'm trying to apologize, Kili. I truly am sorry that I hit you and I never should have done that."

"It doesn't matter. Fili. It happened and it's in the past."

It would never be in the past for Fili, but he bit his tongue. He wanted to know what happened since that horrible night and arguing about that fight would not achieve that. He swallowed. "Go on."

Kili sighed, wrapping his arms around himself. He really wanted a cigarette but he was pretty sure that his brother wouldn't want him smoking around him.

"That night when I ran out, I really had no idea where I was going to go. I didn't care what happened to me because as far as I was concerned, my whole world was gone." It still was. Just because Fili came to rescue him didn't mean he wanted him around. "I kept driving until I ran out of gas and when I filled up the bike again, I wasn't sure what to do from there. I didn't recognize where I had ended up so I locked up the bike in a lot and went walking. I ended up outside this bar. I knew there was no way I was getting in because I look as young as I am, but as I was walking by the window, I happened to make eye contact with one of the guys sitting at the table. Next thing I know, he's outside. We end up spending all night in the diner across the street from the bar just talking and smoking. It was sunrise before he parted ways. He invited me back to his house, but I was feeling too raw to be alone with anyone so I rented a motel room for the night." He shrugged, a look of confusion on his face. "I don't know how it happened, but two days later I had a job as a server at the bar. A week later, I was living with him."

Fili sat down on the couch, wishing that Kili would sit next to him, but instead, his brother slumped into the armchair across from him. Every few minutes his eyes would dart to the door or the window in panic, and then he would look back at Fili as if trying to gain comfort and remember that he was safe.

"I honestly don't know what was going on and I guess that I just didn't care, you know? There was nothing left for me anywhere and I knew after you told mom and Thorin what I had done I wouldn't have any family left at all. So I just went along with it and whatever he wanted to do. By the time I realized what he was into and what he was using me for, I was well and truly trapped."

Fili swallowed, not sure what was coming but knowing that it was not going to be any kind of good from the condition that he had found his brother in. How could it be? Kili looked like he had been abused and probably nearly killed, as well. Plus, he was jumping at unexpected noises and he kept looking around like he was expecting someone or something to jump out of the shadows at him.

"What happened? Who was he?"

"His name is Mick... Mick Adronson."

Fili let out a breath as he stared at Kili in shock. No, oh no. He wasn't serious. He couldn't be telling him that the one who had abused him and tried to kill him was one of the worst drug users and dealers in the state -- and the worst enemy of their family? His father... oh god, his father had killed their father and Thorin had ended up killing him in a shoot-out. It was a good kill, but for their police chief uncle, it had been hard for him to deal with the public scrutiny of it.

"Kili..."

"I didn't know who he was at the time! How could I? No one knew what Snake's son looked like. I had certainly never seen him! When I met him, he just introduced himself as Mick, a university student and mechanic."

Fili just continued to stare at him, his mind imagining so many things that must have happened to his brother at the hands of a monster like that. He was staring silently for so long that Kili shifted in his seat. Swallowing several times, he forced himself to stand.

"I'm... I'm just gonna go."

Fili jumped to his feet. "What? No, you can't go!"

"Why not? It's obvious that you're regretting coming to get me even more now that you know what was happening and who I was with. I don't... I don't want to cause you more distress and heartache than I already have."

"God, Kili, no. You're not leaving, not again. And I'm not regretting coming to get you since I have been hoping and praying for some sign of you for the last three months. What is causing me distress is all of the mental images my imagination is coming up with about what he could have done to you and plotting ways of ripping him apart with my bare hands."

"Nononononono!" Kili moaned, shaking his head wildly. "No, you have to, you have to stay away. He'll kill you without even blinking, Fili. He has no moral compass. He's worse than his father, even. He takes what he wants and hurts who he wants. And he won't... he won't come after you face to face like a man. He will get you in the dark somewhere and hit you in the back. There's no honor or mercy with him and if he decides you're going to die, well that is what is going to happen and no one can stop it."

"I wouldn't be so quick to count me out, Kili," Fili said dryly, trying to hide how offended he was that Kili apparently thought he could be taken out by the asshole that had caused his brother such pain so easily.

"You... you can't go near him! I can't let him touch you!" 

Kili's pupils were so wide that they were overwhelming the color of his eyes and he had gone even paler than normal. He was starting to shake and then Fili had to step forward and grab him when he realized that Kili was fighting a losing battle against one hell of a panic attack. He reached out and pulled his brother against him, wrapping his arms around him tightly. He had often done this when they were young, pulling Kili to his chest and holding him safely against him, locked within protecting arms to help ease him down from his anxiety attacks. He held him and just murmured things into his hair until he could get Kili's breathing to even out enough that he wouldn't hyperventilate into a fainting spell. 

The last thing either one of them needed was for Kili to pass out when Fili was worried if he would wake up again.

"Kili, Kili, I'm safe and I'll stay safe. I'll be okay. You must have known that you would be safe with me or else why would you have called me to you? You knew I would protect you from anyone that came after you."

Kili shuddered in his arms. "I didn't call you to protect me."

"Yeah? Then why did you call me?"

"I-I called you to apologize and make sure you would have answers." Kili went limp against his brother. "I called to tell you goodbye."

Fili stiffened, not realizing he had tightened his arms around Kili until he heard him cry out in pain. He loosened the hold, but not enough for Kili to step away from him. That cry of pain told him that Kili was injured more than he had seen. But what was moving through his brain and causing every nerve to feel like it was buzzing was Kili's whisper that he had called to tell him goodbye. What in the hell was he thinking was going to happen?

"What do you mean that you called me so that you could tell me goodbye?"

"He's going to kill me, Fili. I did something he finds unforgivable and even knowing the danger, I would do it again."

Fili tried not to growl under his breath. "Why do you think he's going to kill you?"

"Because he said he was and he tried to do so tonight. But he was interrupted." Kili was shaking. "He had his hands around my throat and I couldn't see and I couldn't breathe and there was nothing but pain as he kept squeezing and kneeing me wherever he could hit me while his hands were occupied." He swallowed, wincing and Fili wondered how he could even talk when he had to be in so much damn pain. "But then a call came in."

"A call?"

"One of his guys had been hurt and needed backup. He was one of Mick's best guys so he threw me across the room into the wall. I pretended to lose consciousness and just laid there even as he kicked me. He said he would be back to finish what he had started and he would make sure I lasted long enough to regret crossing him and I would beg him to finish it."

Fili pulled him close again, shaking his head as he tried to calm his own emotions. "Kili, what did you do to incite so much rage?"

"I placed an anonymous call to Thorin's department telling him where Mick's main drug manufacturing building was."


End file.
